Hello There!
Do you know what the most difficult thing in the world is for someone with control issues? TARGET. Especially if those issues involve candy consumption and especially if it is 1.5 weeks before Halloween. Let’s just say some of us struggle with candy issues and there shouldn’t be SALES on giant bags of candy corn.
ITS TRUE
But of course, after one walks into that store, a full paycheck so quickly becomes a credit card debit. Whatever, they have Peanut M&Ms on super sale and I’ll buy them all. No shame, I’ll just run for 10 hours tomorrow. I’m confident that is how “fitness” works.
No pain no gain. Or cramps.
But today’s pumpkin ale should rid me of the rough Thursday that it was, what with a CRAZY PERSON trying to throw a faux MOLOTOV COCKTAIL at the mall near my apartment. Not even a joke on that, a guy literally tried to throw a bomb you find in a zombie video game at the food court of the single worst mall in Arlington. It’s just…exactly what you would expect of a Thursday at the Ballston Mall. Obviously.
Anyways, I am drinking Ichabod Pumpkin Ale, brewed by New Holland Brewing Company. As you can already guess and I know all of you have, the label has an Ichabod Crane character holding a PUMPKIN instead of a head. Fantastic, original, groundbreaking. Just the best ever ever.
Yep.
The beer itself looks pretty cool inside the bottle, since it keeps its head the whole time. Pretty snazzy. It has some good spice flavor but nothing too overwhelming. But it also has an aftertaste that makes me think that whatever I drank just died. And that doesn’t even make sense. It’s 5.2% alcohol by volume which means its 5x as alcoholic as Natty Light. But for the originality of the beer’s name and label, I find myself reaching for my water glass to constantly clear my throat of the terrible flavor of deadness. Like the hops died. RIP hops.
Hops is survived by his litter box.
As my dear friend and fellow former WM swimmer Crossfitty de SoManyCousins pleaded with me last night, so I acquiesce. I am giving this beer a 2 out of 10 pumpkins. Because it tastes like something died and that sucks.
Side Note: After watching the news, the police discovered that the “Molotov Cocktail” was a 40 filled with gasoline. And he was captured eating Cheesecake Factory lunch outside on a patio. JUST. NO. WORDS.
Arlington FTW tonight.
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